What kind of answers do you give?

What kind of answers do you give?

It has been a well-known fact for trans people in the care process for many years, to give desirable answers. My transgender son and I did that too. I remember well that because of the puberty inhibitors for the bone balance in his body he had to eat and drink a lot of milk products. That way he got enough calcium and that is important. But yes, that doesn’t always work well with a teenager. He just didn’t say that during the consultation with the pediatrician.

And he is certainly not the only one. For years I have heard with great regularity that answers are given that people think the psychologist or endocrinologist wants to hear. Recently a trans man called me. He had been asked by the psychologist whether he was perhaps a female man. A question that made him break out in a sweat. Only reason for this is fear. With us it was the fear that the puberty inhibitors would be stopped and with the trans man the fear that he would not receive a diagnosis. And so there are countless stories and that is very unfortunate. Especially because the trans people feel like the underdog in a position of power in a place where they should be able to be themselves.

Sometimes I muse about how to solve this situation, but I’m afraid it’s not that simple. I think a lot has to do with the way in which the diagnosis of gender dysphoria is now being made. In other words: the way in which one has to prove one is trans. Because when are you trans enough? In addition, it would be good if there was room for someone to be unable to meet all the conditions for a while. Because that’s how it works in life.

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